In praise of Nicholas Colasanto

You will have to be a certain age to remember Nicholas Colasanto, or Coach, the character that he played in the comedy Cheers. But then you will have to be a certain age to have nothing better to do with your time than read this blog, so I am reasonably certain that you will remember that having taken 'one to many pitches on the old bean' Coach was a little intellectually challenged and could usually be relied on to agree with the viewpoint of the last speaker.

I felt a little like coach last week. I was completely certain the the one period I could be sure I would never paint again would be Medievals. After all I had fielded a peasant army for Barons Wars and re fought most of the Wars of the Roses battles and now I am securely based in the 18C. NO! one enjoyable game and I have a big box of old lead from the eighties out and am painting away.

Fair enough, but what made me think that a good place to begin to fit in with an 14C German campaign would be to put together a unit of Irish? You know how it is, they just came out of the box and before I knew where I was I had some paint on them. They are useful figures anyway and can be used right through to the English Civil War.



So just to put things right I painted up a group of city militia archers. Just 10 fairly elderly and ill equipped archers who probably are only in the militia for the drinking and weekends away from their families.



Not especially well painted, but then not every figure has to be a masterpiece, they will look good enough from six feet away. Hopefully that has scratched that particular itch and I can now get on with the other six or so major projects that I have on the go.

The Spirit of '76

Martin T visited this week and arrived carrying a box full of his beautiful medieval figures. They are all painted for the princelings and nobles of The Holy Roman Empire. His research into heraldry is astonishing. Even more enjoyable the figures are all Lamming, Minifig and a few Hinchliffe. Straight away we set up and were into one of those wonderful 'story games' that used to be played on club nights using the Lamming rules or David Cliff's Retinue set.

The lovely Princess Elizabeth is travelling to meet her prospective bridegroom, Prince Paladin*. They are entering into a political marriage, arranged by her father King Frederick which will strengthen the respective families. Aged 18, she is as beautiful as she is kind and wise. The column consists of her household, dowry wagons, a local guide and escort of archers and knights.

*Apologies to Martin who has elaborate genealogies and correct German titles for all models, but they just went in one ear...

At an elaborately decorated camp the Prince waits to begin the wedding feasts. The Bishop of Krautburgh is on hand to perform the ceremonies.

However wicked Count Otto has other plans. In a village he lurks, ready to spring his evil trap and abduct the princess, steal the dowry and slaughter the escort . (yes, 'tis me)

As the train crosses the bridge the trap is sprung. Men at Arms and Archers with 3 mercenary knights attack the rear of the train, disguising themselves as bandits. Count Otto ostensibly rides to the rescue and in the confusion attacks the head of the column . The escort prepare to sell their lives dearly( apart from the guide who hides in the wood.)

Time to leggit, the princess gamely sets off for the ford,with the rest of her household and wicked Otto in pursuit.

Incredibly, two unarmoured archers hold the bridge for three turns seeing off no less than eight assailants. However they are forced to one side and Otto's, equally wicked, knights ride over the bridge. On the far side of the bridge the foot knight in yellow and red bravely intercepts Otto's horsemen allowing the princess time to gallop for her life.

But to no avail, two good dice throws and the leading horseman grabs her bridle just as she reaches the ford.

"Your highness need fear no more, you are under my personal protection now! Heh, Heh, Heh." twirls mustaches; boo! boo ! Boo!

The incredibly dim, Paladin finally realises something is up and sets off to the bridge at the head of a rescue column. The Bishop well to the fore, he is not about to lose a marriage ceremony fee.

Too late - Otto has anticipated this, and the bridge is held by a defending force, who slow the knights down by throwing a peasant under their hooves. They will never be able to fight their way across in time to catch wily Otto.

So time to go home, a dowry, the princess and a nice bargaining chip at the next sit down of the big cheeses in Nuremberg. Not a bad days work.

"Honey I'm home! "possibly the biggest winner of the day. The Guide who not only survived but also captured the loose cow and calve and takes them back to his hovel.

So much more that there is no space to detail, the heroic intervention of the captain of the escort which nearly foiled the plot, the peasant scythe man who ripped two men at arms to pieces, the archer with two leg wounds and an arm wound who wouldn't give up. All the fun of this style of game and a refreshing change from the big battalions.

The first time we had played with these rules, which Martin had adapted from a free Internet download. It took a while to learn the subtleties and work out tactics eg. using a figure close to the enemy to slow down movement or in order to kill someone you need to pile in mob handed and really beat the bejaysus out of them. but overall I liked them and certainly proved their is no need to spend £20 to get a good rule set.

And yes I did get my translating done. I refused to give Martin food or drink until the full 123 pages were finished.

Do you remember when-

A new Uniform book was a source of excitement and joy? Blandford or Funcken or possibly W A Thorburn, page after page revealed new treasures; Zouaves or is it Zooves? never mind, could those trousers be for real? Papal Guards, Fuzileers, Prince Ruperts Regiment. Bavaria, Wurtenburg and Hesse. Sadly that kind of innocence soon goes. Time takes the wide eyed joy of a small boy and turns it into the crabby nit picking of middle age.

We know what a Sassanid is, we are familiar with the cuff styles and turnback lacing of every kind of Napoleonic artilleryman. We treat our Cavaliers severely, no feather bedecked hats and lace trimmings, they can wear knitted night caps and brown jerkins like everyone else and like it.

Are we better for such hard won knowledge. Yes, certainly, but happier?

And then - in the post last week came a parcel of totally unexpected books. In a conversation with a friend I had wondered what kind of Army could use the Holger Eriksson figures I liked so much. It should really be after the War of the Spanish Succession but before the War of the Austrian Succession. Apart from thinking that I should definitely get out more, I then forgot all about it. Until a parcel of obscure German Uniform books arrived about the Saxon Army!!

No less than four beautiful volumes to study with awe, but the Gem is a book published in the GDR in 1984.
'Die Armee Augustus des Starken' Colour plate after colour plate of every unit of the Saxon Army in 1730. Even the Janissary unit - cant wait to paint that one, but every single unit is just a joy. Exactly what I was looking for and perfect for the figures I want to use.

Absolutely astounding kindness, even in a hobby where most people are generous by nature. As a result I have a magical project to cherish over the next twenty years or so. I am twelve again!!

Highways and byways 1 (Revisited)

I got a email from a friend of mine who I shall call Martin T since he is careful about his privacy. In addition to being an eminent expert on the German armies of the 18 and 19c he is a very experienced and well read wargamer.

I can do no better than reproduce what he says below:


"I see there is a museum at Lille with some of the Vauban models (your blog). There is a museum in Paris with a large collection of these model;s ("maquettes"), the "Musee des Plans-Reliefs"- the website is at

In French, but a full listing of the models. They have models of fortresses, maps "in relief", models of siege operations etc. I first came across this through a reference in one of the early wargaming books (I think it was Featherstone), apparently at that time you would go up a side street in Paris, and there was a small sign above a doorway, you went up some stairs and there was this wonderful museum- ever since then I have intended to go there, to my shame after all these years I have yet to do so. The author of the book about the models at Lille, Isabelle Warmoes, works in the museum at Paris and has written at least one other book about the models. Other models can be found at various places in France- for example the model of the Vauban fortress of Belfort is at Belfort itself."



I have said that the best part of this blog are the comments and once more that is true. Also it is a splendid excuse to reproduce three more images of the models themselves. Thank you Martin.

Highways and byways: TheSocial Game

The main clash, Front Rank,and a few Essex
Well, very nice too. But what about the game? We got out a couple of boxes of English Civil War Cavalry. These were to hand as I was halfway through basing them. The plywood base is in place but I have still to add the magnets and terrain A Bellona bridge and some Pegasus river sections and away we go.
The hand of God; or pointing out some Foundry Cavalry?
1642 two Cavalry regiments clash for the control of a river crossing. 30 figures a side and Charge rules.
Move one: I heavily weight one flank and refuse the other, (pretty sophisticated stuff for 1642) Mr Asquith advances with three roughly equal units.

One of the problems with painting ECW cavalry; basically everything is brown.

Move 2: My main Cavalry charge home, Huzzah. Oh he has diverted some to the bridge. Still not to worry they can only deploy two wide so he cant get much advantage. Ah my first misjudgement, if my refused flank stays where it is then any push back will take it off the board. Oh well what the hell, all units charge!

First melee. I outnumber him two to one, no not another one he has won the first round. Throw four or more for a second -- damn a two! I must route. On the bridge I lost two casualties in the first round and anther one in the second which was enough to cause another route. I am not even going to describe what happened on my refused flank.

Move 2: the remnants of my units mill about in chaos.

Ten minutes into the game and every figure I had left was in route. Time to retreat I think.

Not entirely unhappy with the way things are going

The figures used were a mixture of Foundry, Essex, Old Glory and the much lamented Front Rank range. at the time I painted these figure I was keen on getting an 'authentic' look of worn leather and everyday clothing. as a result I now think that they look a little dull, Still with individual basing I can easily slip in a few in brighter clothing and some black or grey horses to break up the wall of brown.

The Victors stream across the bridge

People have asked what rules I am using and to be honest I don't know yet. I have always used George Gush's WRG green set and they have invariably given a good game. But I don't know if I still fancy all that factor counting and splitting up melees into component parts. I am using Charge but it could do with a bit more period flavour. So no decision on that so far. Watch this space

Highways and Byways :Domestic Bliss

I think it was Henry Harris in one of his toy soldier books who painted an ideal picture of family life. Father at a roll top desk, no doubt with a pipe, and painting his toys. Two children are playing happily on the floor quietly absorbed in their board game. Mother sits quite contentedly in the corner knitting and watching TV.

It is an image I have never felt it necessary to share with my wife, nevertheless I have often reflected on its golden ideal. Well last weekend came near to attaining that perfection. After dinner Mr Stuart Asquith and I played a small cavalry skirmish on the dining table which we shared with the two ladies who were constructing crafts of some kind (who can say they really understand such things?) Nevertheless we had a charming and civilised evening.

Yes, that's right the Asquith of Asquith towers. You can imagine my apprehension at entertaining him in my own hovel. In fact it all went off very smoothly in spite of his repeated attempts to find the door to the billiard room. Well, there was just the one sticky moment when at afternoon tea I suddenly realised that the chocolate cake didn't have those little silver balls on top. Frankly he is such a Gentleman that he pretended not to notice.

Nevertheless the expression on his face when he realised that I wargamed in an OUTHOUSE! reminded me once more of the extraordinary resemblance between himself and the late leader of the Charge of the Light brigade. A family resemblance? Ah my lips are sealed, I have said too much already.

THE 7TH EARL : LORD CARDIGAN

STUART ASQUITH

Highways and Byways 1

I have been busy the last couple of weeks painting for other people, so it will be a little while before I have anything from my own projects on which I can write. I am reluctant to leave another long gap in my blog so I thought that I would make a series of posts over the next few weeks that reflect the varied and different threads that make our hobby so fascinating.

A couple of years ago Mr Henry Hyde the noted wargames editor and raconteur, returned from a holiday in Lille enthused not only by the cooking but by a strange museum exhibit he had stumbled across. Deep in the bowels of the Palais des Beaux Arts de Lille, were a series of the most incredible models of the towns fortified by the great Vauban. The only disappointment was that his photos had not coped with the poor lighting and museum restrictions.

Then this winter my sister decided to go to Lille for some kind of Shopping Fest, strict instructions led her to the Museum basement where she was able to achieve the rare feat of leaving a French attendant lost for words by brushing off his patronising attempts to redirect her back to the girlie impressionists by sternly decrying 'I have come to study the work of the great Vauban'



The best bit was she was able to get a superbly illustrated catalogue. Most of the models were constructed for Louis XIV and renovated in the late 18C. As the pictures show they are mainly in remarkable condition.


I must say that the overall effect reminds me of the buildings, created by the late Charles Grant, that appear in The Wargame. Not over detailed but creating an effect through consistent simplicity. They are a wonderful source of inspiration for some 18C siege games and one day perhaps I shall get the electric jig saw and finally put together something worth playing over. In the meantime I have the most delightful book to browse and dream the afternoon away.

If anyone else wants a copy, the museum website is not very helpful. The best I can do is this.

I hope your French is better than mine.